Simmons has Lost His Mind

I remember there used to be a time when i constantly refreshed espn page 2 around lunchtime in hopes of a new Sports Guy article, well since Blogs and Deadspin and others, those days are few and far between. Its not just Deadspins fault, Simmons has lost his edge, I am not sure if its that every other article is about the Red Sox, or that all of his articles seem like i have read them 3500 times and no thought is that original or that he tried to get involved in the Premiere league (for 2 articles) or involved in NCAA Basketball commenting on games in a blog 4 days after the game happened, or what. There are many other issues, no sports movie review in months, I could go on. Well yesterday was officially the end for me, no more Sports Guy for me, he was on his last legs anyway but now no more.
With all of the excess hype that went around Kobe's flipflopping of wanting to be traded, Bill put up an article about the 7 deals that make sense (never mind its the first timely Simmons post in well forever) but it kind of seems like he had the article partially written out for the Allen Iverson trade or the Ron Artest years ago or KG or more likely the possible upcoming Vince Carter situation. His second most likely trade scenario, in its entirety.

Deal No. 2: Chicago trades Luol Deng, Ben Gordon, Victor Khryapa and the No. 9 pick for Kobe.

Additional notes: This deal works as long as the Bulls renounce P.J. Brown's rights; also, it means the Lakers would receive a mammoth (and appealing) trade exception in the deal.

Comments: This seems like the most natural home for Kobe -- it's a big city; they're a contender in the East; there's enough talent left after the deal to make a run, and even the MJ-Kobe symmetry works nicely -- as well as the best possible haul for the Lakers. The deal could work in a variety of ways: Instead of renouncing Brown's rights, the Bulls could include Andres Nocioni as a sign-and-trade (starting at around $5 million per) and renounce Mike Sweetney's rights instead of Brown's. If they wanted to get even more creative, they could make it Deng, Gordon, P.J. Brown (sign and trade -- one year, $10 million) and the No. 9 for Kobe. They could try to substitute Ty Thomas and a future No. 1 for Deng. Etc., etc., etc.

Two big obstacles here:

(A) Would the Bulls ever give up Deng? The Lakers would have to get him back in a Kobe deal, right? I feel like he's become slightly overrated over the past season -- he's definitely a potential All-Star; he definitely could become the second-best player on a championship-caliber team, but I don't see him getting much better than he is right now. Do you ever see him scoring 27-28 a game? Do you ever see him being the crunch-time scorer on a great team? If you could land Kobe and keep Kirk Hinrich, Ben Wallace, Ty Thomas, Chris Duhon and Thabo Sefolosha, then sign one more veteran to help them out, that's a potential 2008 title team. Isn't the whole point to win a title?

(B) Would John Paxson ever roll the dice with a mega-deal for someone like Kobe? He seems to be happier stockpiling young assets and waiting for one of these other teams to offer him the likes of KG or Jermaine O'Neal for 30 cents on the dollar. By making a Kobe deal, Paxson would be shoving his chips to the middle of the table ... something he's been completely unwilling to do. We will see.

There are countless things that make no sense, here is a quick list of 9.
1. Paxson has shown no interest in blockbuster deals (see KG and Gasol)
2. Paxson is stockpiling a young team for a potential dynasty (he played in one a couple years ago, Bill must have forgotten)
3. Kobe the egomaniac that he is would never play in "the House that Mike Built" He didnt want to be in Shaq or the Zen Masters shadow, why would he even consider playing in a town where no matter what he does he will always be second to 23.
4. Luol Deng is not getting traded, just not happening, and deal doesn't happen without Deng.
5. If no Deng then its some combination of at least 3 or 4 of these Thomas/ Sefolosha/ Gordon/ Draft pick/ Nocioni/ Kryapa all of which seem like alot for 1 player
6. Who on the Bulls is Selfish player, Pax has stockpiled team players why throw it all away for 1 selfish player.
7. Simmons B) why overpay for a superstar when there is a chance to get a marquee player at pennies on the dollar.
8. Eastern Conference Round 2 after sweep of Defending Champs to Pax means tweaking is in order not overhauling his master plan.
9. As Bill likes to say "the lesson is of course, I'm an idiot" so why should this be any different.

New Orleans

This weekend will be spent in New Orleans for the bachelor party of another contributing blogger to this site. Will try to post a couple photos in real time as well as maybe a story or two. Not quite Live blogging a bachelor party, but hopefully some updates. This is my first time to NOLA so I am not really sure what to expect. I know we will make it to Bourbon Street and the Harrahs Casino, but after that its a complete mystery. I would like to see the Ninth Ward, but that may be a little too depressing and dangerous.

Just in case here is a link to the local police station

Bulls Lottery Draft Preview

The Chicago Bulls currently have a 1.9% chance of getting the first pick in the NBA Draft tomorrow evening, and I may be the only one in the world who hopes we don't get the first pick. I know many of you are saying I am using the old reverse psychology to get the first pick, but I am not. I honestly don't want the first pick and either Kevin Durant or Greg Oden, well unless we trade the pick away for future picks or a center/post player with some offensive capabilities.
The Bulls were exposed by the Detroit Pistons because they had no offense beyond going small and relying on guard play. Not the best chances for victory especially when you are matched up with one of the better back courts in the league. You can not when many games when you are forced to shoot from the outside, only shoot 33% from the field and then get outrebounded.
So how does this relate to the draft lottery, well look at the first two picks, Kevin Durant or Greg Oden. Oden is a 37 yr old Freshman that the Florida Gators, the NCAA Tournament, the Big 10 Conference Tourney and the half of the season exposed as an underdeveloped big man with at best a minimal offensive presence. Just what the Bulls need another Big Man with limited offensive skills. Put him on the court with Ben Wallace and in effect the Bulls go 3 on 5 on offense. Who is going to teach Oden any offensive skills, PJ Brown (career playoff high of 20 pts?) the only thing PJ Brown will be able to teach him are the places in Chicago that give Senior Citizen Discounts.
Other option, Kevin Durant, a freshman small forward. Sure he can jump out of the gym and do it all, but where does he get his minutes in his first 2 yrs. The Bulls front court is already crowded with Deng, Wallace, and Nocioni (i project to start with PJ Brown gone), and then still trying to get minutes for Tyrus Thomas, Sefolosha and Durant. Thats 6 quality players for 2 spots (3 if go small).
I ran the WWL's mock draft lottery tool about 40 times and not once did the Bulls win the first pick, in fact about 38 of those times the Bulls ended up with Spencer Hawes, a 7 foot Center from UW. A good high post player and a highly developed offensive game who likes playing with his back to the basket. Sounds like a good fit for a young Bulls team. But thats just my opinion, what do I know.

Bulls vs. Pistons Game 6 Recap

Howard the Duck is a movie you may remember from way back in 1986. George Lucas' Industrial Light and Magic was coming into its own as THE institution for special effects. Howard the Duck was supposed to be an early foray into branching away from Star Wars.

To settle a bet between my sister and myself I forced myself to watch this movie. The major stars in this movie are Lea Thompson, Tim Robbins, and Jeffrey Jones. Lea actually looks decent despite her 80's hair and mammary deficiencies. Tim Robbins puts in possibly the lamest performance ever in the history of cinema as a dorky scientist. Jeffrey Jones also plays a scientist who becomes possessed by an evil space overlord which I guess isn't much of a stretch since he was probably already masturbating to pictures of Gary Coleman in his trailer.

What several people do not know is that this movie was actually derived from a comic book of the same name. This movie epitomizes everything that was wrong with comic book movies of the 80's and early 90's and why the formula of today actually works. If you want to make a good comic book movie, don't make it campy.

Fucking Bulls.

Beastie Boys - Off The Grid

Wow, I mean Wow. Words can not describe how excited I am for this release. Also the Beasties have a blog on their site, just random videos, and I mean random.

Bulls vs. Pistons Game 5 Recap

I need to be honest, I missed most of the game due to a business dinner. I did run to the bar periodically to check the score and did cathch the Tyrus Thomas block followed by Ben Gordon 3-pointer which I understand was one of the highlight plays of the game.

As far as my dinner went, it was at a Churrascaria which I think is Portugese for "gluttonous meat engorgement". I ate bacon-wrapped filet, beef, chicken, pork, lamb. I had a Capirinha and a ton of Cabernet. I ate a piece of flourless chocolate-mocha cake followed by a single-malt scotch (don't ask me which kind, I was just following the others). That meal probably shortened my life for about a week.

Somehow, the Bulls are back in this. And my prediction of Pistons in 7 has now been given new life. Wish some of it went to my liver.

Bulls vs. Pistons Game 4 Recap

In case you didn't know, teams down 0-3 in the NBA playoffs are 0-81 to win the series. If you didn't know that, then that means you didn't watch any of Game 4 because I think they flashed that stat 81 times during the game.

So the Bulls pulled out a win which apparently is only prolonging the inevitable based on the stats. I don't remember seeing Thabo in at all. When Tyrus was in he made mistakes but was good overall. This all begs the question of what sort of strategy Skiles is planning for Game 5. Unfortunately I have a business dinner to attend so I may not be watching. Maybe one of you can tell me how many teams down 1-3 have won the series after that game. I'm sure TNT will proudly pound the stat in your head.

Return of the Magnificent Review

DJ Jazzy Jeff recently released, "The Return of the Magnificent" one of the best albums I have bought in a while. It features a wide variety of MCs including such well knowns as Method Man, Jean Grae, Pos, BDK and Peedi Peedi, ok the last one there was a stretch, but I have always liked Peedi Crack since his State Property days (joking but he was tight on "Long Time" on the Roots "Game Theory," so he gets my love). There are also several lesser known artists and new comers. Jeff takes an original approach to the album involving the introduction and the skits during the CD. Jeff says that he has to drive a rental car to the ATL and therefore has to listen to the radio, so the CD plays out as the soundtrack to his drive. Including a couple skits about being asked about the Fresh Prince in a drive through, and then a call to Big Willie's office, and the hilarity ensues.
Jeff is still heavily influenced by Funk, Jazz and Soul and the tracks are some of the best I have heard in a while, the diverse lineup of artists hold there own, but as expected sometimes the track is the best part of the album and the lyrics get lost. One track that stands out is "Practice" with Jay Live, the chorus is a bridge of AI's infamous Practice Press Conference. I have never been that big of a fan of BDK, but "The Garden" is also one of the better tracks, but that may be more because of the soulful beat. I haven't liked a Meth track since, maybe How High, and was't sure if Meth Jeff collabo would work, but their track together is one of the better on the album. Lastly, probably my favorite track is "All I Know" with CL Smooth. The two work so well together you would have thought it was 1994 and this was the lost track off of Mecca and the Soul Brother.
Look for more upcoming Reviews in the coming weeks, including the new Linkin Park album, the Mix Up, and maybe even some classic albums from back in the day.

Bulls vs. Pistons Game 3 Recap

This will be short. Game 3 was the biggest letdown since the Super Bowl. The Bulls were on pace at the half to hold Detroit to under 60 points for the game. Instead, they blew a 19 point 3rd quarter lead to send themselves straight to Suckville.

Two thoughts. One, when the Bulls had Sefalosha and Tyrus in the game in the 2nd quarter they extended their lead. When the game began to turn in favor of the Pistons we never saw our bench again until the last minute. Why? What was there to lose?

The other thought is how crazy some of these players make me. One minute Kirk is draining threes, the other he is turning the ball over on a fast break (seriously he has done this like 10 times this series). Duhon is a mess. Nocioni is as cold as the Arctic. Billups can't miss from beyond the arc. We dominated the boards in the first half and looked like the same team from games 1 and 2 in the second half.

If I hadn't committed to these posts already I would not be watching come Sunday.

Pantera

Over the past few years I have become interested in boxing again. Everyone says it is a dead sport and there are some arguments which support this. I, however, am not one who believes that boxing needs a dominant heavyweight champion to be relevant. (Just to be clear I am sort of a Wladmir Klitchko fan anyway.) I tend to gravitate toward the middleweight and adjacent divisions for the nice combination of speed, technique and power. Heavyweight fights have always disappointed IMO. With middleweights you get real boxing but the potential still exists for a knockout.

Anyway, the fighter I am always excited to watch is Edison "Pantera" Miranda. He's fairly tall for a middleweight at 5'11". He throws tons of looping haymakers usually going for the knockout(record 27-1 with 24 KO's). But what really is amazing is his story. Born in Colombia, his mother abandoned him when he was a year old. He was raised in an abusive household and ended up living homeless on the street at age 9. He decided to track down his biological mother who turned him away and sent him back to the street.

From his bio:

He was now all alone on the tough streets of Colombia at the young age of nine. He spent the rest of his childhood working hard in the plantain and yucca fields of Tumaco and sweeping up for street vendors in the neighboring town of Buenaventura. He ate whatever he could find on the streets in order to survive. By the time Edison was 12, he was already working a grown-man's job in construction. Just two years later, he worked as a cattle butcher in Barranquilla, where he would soon begin pursuing his dream of becoming a champion boxer.

He was an amateur boxer at age 16 and eventual amateur champion. He lost an earlier professional title bout to Artuhur Abraham in a controversial decision where he broke Abraham's jaw with a legal punch. On May 19th he fights Kelly Pavlik (30-0, 27 KO) for the right to fight for the title. Two men who clearly fight to knock the other guy out. Not a PPV, it's on HBO as an undercard fight on the middleweight title bout between Spinks and Taylor. My money says the undercard fight will be the one worth watching that night. I better have HBO in my hotel room in Anaheim.

I do promise at some point to return to things "not sports" in my posts but for now it will continue.

Bulls vs. Pistons Game 2 Recap

What now? For the first time this playoff run I actually had to avert my eyes for part of the game last night. Just plain painful to watch. Perhaps what is most frustrating is that the Bulls went to the free throw line more often, shot better at the line (although missed 15), and won the turnover battle. Why did they lose? They were out-rebounded 15 billion to absolute zero. Also, Detroit has not shown any signs of developing a cold streak in their shooting. Supposedly one of the best defensive teams in the league, Chicago looks like they couldn't stop a high school freshman squad.

Now the series comes back home where the Bulls need to even the series to have a chance (which no one believes they have anymore). They need to win at least one to come away from this series with an ounce of pride. There's already talk on the eBays of how much the team needs to be revamped if a sweep occurs. Just to think that last week we were all so high on our Bulls' chances, proudly stating that they had arrived. Ugh.

It's About to Go Down

As almost everyone should know by now, the Beastie Boys in a few short months will be releasing a new album, of all instrumentals titled "the Mix Up" There are also rumors that the album will be remixed, or "the ReMix Up" with mostly newer artists of different genres singing, rapping, or whatever to the tracks.
If you go to the Beasties website, you will see what appears to be part one of a story, that may or may not have anything to do with the album with a really dope track that is about to become my ringtone.

Bulls vs. Pistons Game 1 (Plus)

Well it had to happen eventually. The Bulls sucked last night plain and simple. Managed to more than quadruple their turnover number from game 4 against the Heat. It was a blowout. On one hand it causes some fear that the Bulls simply are outmatched in this series. On the other hand, if the Bulls can come back to take game 2 then they still have a great shot in the series having stolen home court advantage. In my opinion, the key is the bench players which was the most lopsided matchup from game 1. I never realized Jason Maxiell was the greatest forward in the game. Maybe as the series progresses he'll go "Antoine Walker" for his hometown.

In other sports news the Jazz made T-Mac cry. I'm picking the Warriors in 6 to take the semifinal series against Utah. Golden State just has so much momentum right now, I think they will take at least 1 of 2 to start the series in Salt Lake.

Finally, I watched the Mayweather/De La Hoya fight which was a decent fight but overall a bit disappointing. No knockdowns and a split decision (which it shouldn't have been) never satisfies. The best part was Floyd Sr. stating after the fight that he felt De La Hoya should have won. Like the majority, I wanted Oscar to win especially after seeing this.

NBA Playoffs Round 2... Fight!

Ugh, these NBA playoffs annoy me. At this rate they might end in time for Christmas. I would prefer to do all my second round predictions at once but the scheduling will not allow me that as we will have Round 2 starting before the first round finishes. Splendid.

Anyway, to review round 1 so far, I have correctly predicted the winners of all series except Nets/Raptors and Golden State/Mavs. As far as the Warriors go, I doubt I am alone in that category and, frankly, I'm happy to have guessed wrong on this one. We shall see what happens in game 7 between the Rockets and Jazz tonight. To the rest of the games:

EAST

Chicago Bulls (5) vs. Detroit Pistons (1)

It's a series most NBA fans have high on their list in anticipation. Everyone is hyping the Ben Wallace versus his former team angle which I personally feel is a non-story for the most part. Ben left on good terms and is still friends with those guys. That being said, there is NO love between Rip and Tyrus and this will be a physical battle for all those involved. I expect plenty of hard fouls, flagrants, technicals, and that is not just Rasheed. Both teams are hot, the long rest favors the older Detroit. I want to pick my Bulls but I have to stick with my original prediction Pistons in 7.

New Jersey Nets (6) vs. Cleveland Cavaliers (2)

I need to admit that the Nets have impressed me so far this postseason. The Cavs went unchallenged by the Wizards just as I predicted. This is a tough series to call but the Cavs seem younger and fresher. They also have LeBron which the league is still hoping can reach Jordan popularity. Stern wants James around as long as possible so I'm giving the Cavs the edge. No one likes looking at RJ, Vince, or Kidd. Cavs in 6.

West

San Antonio Spurs (3) vs. Phoenix Suns (2)

Now that the Mavs are done the focus in the West turns to this series which seems to now be the one to determine the championship favorite. These teams match up fairly evenly and although the Suns may have a slight advantage on paper, you can't ever count out these Spurs in the postseason. At least not until Horry retires. This one could easily go either way. Suns in 7.

I will add my Warrior vs. Rockets/Jazz prediction once the series is set. Just for the record, I'm still taking Houston in that one.

Derby, Bulls and Mayweather

Big day tomorrow for Sports and betting, starting a little after 5 pm with fastest 2 minutes in sports. Then at 7pm is opening game of the Second Round of the Eastern Conference Playoffs with the Chicago Bulls visiting the Detroit Pistons. Finally the nightcap of the day, with the Mayweather vs De La Hoya fight.

After going 2 for 3 on picks last time its time to make my picks for tomorrow. First I'll start with the easiest one. Mayweather by KO, TKO or DQ at 4:1. With that in mind, I obviously like the under of 11.5 rounds at +190.

In the second sporting event of the day, the Bulls are +5 against the former Bad Boys. Here are some recent trends in the game from Covers.com

Bulls are 5-1 ATS in the last 6 meetings in Detroit.
Bulls are 4-1 ATS in the last 5 meetings.
Underdog is 4-1 ATS in the last 5 meetings.
Road team is 5-1 ATS in the last 6 meetings.

In one of the more wide open Kentucky Derbies in recent memory, with 20 horses entered there are a couple favorites; Curlin (+250); Street Sense (+500); Scat Daddy (+700); Circular Quay (+750). Its a tough one to pick and many experts out there would like to pick a middle of the pack horse at about 10-15:1 to put some money on as an attempt to pick the favorite. I would like to recommend a little different strategy, its called boxing the exacta, take 5-6 horses that you like and then bet on them all to finish one two, no matter the order. As long as Curlin and Street Sense don't win and place then you should be in the black and if you can pick one of those 10-15:1 picks then you should be in for a big payday. As for my picks, I'll take 2,7,12,14,16 and for my flier -15 Tiago who is coming off a victory at Santa Anita in which he finished strong, plus he's the half kid brother of Giacomo, and of course he is OJ's pick.

Top 10 reasons to watch Warriors-Mavs tonight

I will freely admit, as I have done in the past, that I normally need motivation to watch sports on TV when teams that I am a fan of are not playing. Notable exceptions would be football (I'll watch any game anytime), March Madness, and games I have money riding on. I guess I also will watch championship series as well (World Series, NBA finals, etc.)

I will say that NBA Western Conference playoffs normally would not interest me and I would probably only watch if I happened to flip to the channel or I was in a sports bar, etc. But I have been watching this Mavs-Warriors series, staying up to the wee hours here on the East Coast, and it has been well worth it.

Yes I'm cheering for the Warriors b/c they're the underdog but, honestly, this series has been so good that I don't really care who wins so much as that the games are fun to watch. Still not convinced it would be worth your time? I submit to you my top 10 reasons to watch tonight:

10. No #8 seed has ever beaten a #1 seed in a best-of-seven series.

9. Unlike Eastern conference you get high scoring (if you like that sort of thing).

8. Likely Jessica Alba sighting. Unfortunately Cash Warren is part of the package.

7. Will Dirk demonstrate why he deserves MVP consideration or totally self-destruct?

6. You get to watch Andris Biedrins shoot free throws, or at least try to.

5. Watch Stephen Jackson get ejected.

4. Watch Mark Cuban weep like a little bitch.

3. Don Nelson vs. Avery Johnson

2. Baron Davis. Unless you are a Mavs fan how can you not love this guy?

1. Isn't it obvious by now?

$750,000 worth of Cell Phones Stolen

Reagan Wireless in Deerfield Beach Florida was robbed over the weekend of several thousand cell phones, and not just any phones, ESPN Mobile phones. Which are worth money because they are GSM and can be used anywhere in the world, not worth money because you can update your fantasy sports team from your mobile phone. Local news is all over this story as apparently the head of the security firm that is on the premises 24/7 or rather supposed to be on the premises is a former Broward County Sheriff.
More info as it becomes available, but in the meantime, the smugness of this British reporter (a British Reporter in South Florida, I was as shocked as you) is worth checking out. He could be South Floridas version of Carl Monday if he wouldnt take himself so seriously. There is also a $50,000 reward for information, I do not believe that the $50k can be exchanged for ESPN Mobile minutes or phones, but it may be worth asking.